By McKenna Leavens
A lot of us have grown up in a generation where we are taught that putting in the bare minimum effort in a relationship is enough. Where the words I love you don’t hold substance and trust is long gone before ever earned.
Living in a society like this has made me lose hope. Where I come from, the bare minimum doesn’t work for me, the words I love you are sacred and trust is the glue in any relationship.
BUT, I am also at fault because I allow others to treat me this way. I have placed my self-worth into the hands of other people.
I have put my energy and love in places that were never reciprocated.
I am guilty of entertaining and participating in this loveless society because of my own insecurities of wanting to feel loved.
Today is the day that I forgive myself.
I have finally come to the realization that my self worth does not belong in the hands of boys who are incapable of loving me the way I need and deserve to be loved. I realized that healing requires hurting and there are no shortcuts.
I now understand that walking away from someone I may love might be the one thing that saves me.
I used to think that just loving someone was enough. I was wrong.
I have basically been writing love letters to the same guy for over a year, waiting for him to finally love me back. For anyone who knows what that feels like knows that it’s painful as hell.
Some may judge how vulnerable and open I am being but I think that’s the first step to healing. In order to heal you have to grieve what you lost, accept your responsibility in it, and forgive yourself.
We have to stop romanticizing the idea of putting back together a broken relationship, there is nothing beautiful about it.
What’s beautiful is what you choose to do with your OWN broken pieces.
I choose to find my self-worth, to heal, and to finally realize that I deserve more than the bare minimum.