By McKenna Leavens
Do you ever wonder why the term “honeymoon” is used to describe a phase?
Throughout our lives, we are wired to believe that when we are in love it will last forever. The issue isn’t falling in love but rather staying in it after the “obsession” goes away.
Have you ever stayed up all night wondering where a relationship went wrong? Asking yourself how can I fix it? What happened to all that love we had and how did it just disappear?
Odds are you and your partner weren’t speaking the same language. When I say this I am not referring to linguistics, but the one of love.
There are the five love languages — words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
Now sit back and relax while I break them down for you.
1). Words of Affirmation
When your partner acknowledges their love for you through words. Saying things such as “I appreciate you, and all that you do for me” or “I love you and the person I am when I am with you.” If sayings such as these make you feel connected to your partner then chances are your love language is words of affirmation.
2). Acts of Service
The definition of actions speak louder than words. Yes, words are sweet but actions truly show your partner how much you love and appreciate them. This can be something as simple as making your partner dinner or picking up their favorite flowers and chocolate. Even writing a note to let them know you’re thinking about them goes a long way.
3). Receiving Gifts
This may sound a little materialistic from the outside but it means a lot more than just buying your partner presents. Relationships are strengthened because you are taking the time out of your day and the money that you’ve earned in order investing it into your partner. If this you or your partner’s love language, make sure to give the gift meaning — be creative and put your personality into it.
4). Quality Time
It may seem simple but I have had many conversations with my friends who are in relationships, about the issue of finding time. It is hard to balance being a college student, having a job and a relationship at times, but it’s all about balance and priorities.
Instead of doing homework alone invite your boyfriend/girlfriend to come over and do it with you, or make it a point to plan a day each week where you two go and spend quality time together.
5). Physical Touch
This is a big love language, especially for younger generations. The key behind physical touch is that your partner likes to feel the physical connection more so than an emotional one.
For example, if your partner is having a bad day, give them a big hug or kiss on the forehead to show sympathy. When they’re telling you a story or venting to you, touch their arm or leg to let them know you’re engaged. Also, never underestimate the power of eye contact — this is another way to let your boyfriend/girlfriend know that they are being heard and appreciated.
Life as a college student can be tough but when adding on a relationship, it can become overwhelming at times. When you are not getting along in your relationship, it can be emotionally and physically exhausting.
Instead of giving up right away, look into the why of it all — ask yourself, “What can I do to strengthen this relationship?”
These love languages are tailored to each person, it is very rare to find someone with the exact same love language as you. Realizing and understanding what your partner’s love language is and learning that language is vital to a relationship.
Each person deserves the love they want to receive. Try this applying these in your current relationship, see how it changes the dynamic.
If you aren’t sure of your love language take this quiz, you may learn a little more about yourself and how you love!
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